It’s still ok to not be okay…
3 Tips for putting yourself first and saying no as we emerge from the end of lockdown
Are you dreading everything starting up again? 😳
How about your social calendar starting to fill up and needing to wear ‘proper’ clothes again? 👀
Has the invites to beer gardens and social distanced Bbq’s made your eyes roll and you have been left feeling exasperated by the speed of everything? 😤
It really is a lot to take in, isn’t it? But, I want you to know that it’s not you - it’s the pandemic. We’ve all been through a global trauma - thank you very much - and ‘bouncing back’ isn’t the only one-way ticket to happiness when easing back into life.
AND, the last thing you need to feel is guilt for not living up to a perceived expectation that you should be chomping at the bit to get going again. So, I’ve put together three tips that will help you say no, take care of yourself and gently re-emerge into the light - on your own terms.
1. Take it slow - Start small
It’s not you - it’s your nervous system. It’s had a shock and 2020 was one of the longest years EVER - right? As humans, it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach to how you deal with a global pandemic. Firstly, this is our first one and secondly, I didn’t see them handing out a manual. There is no right way or wrong way - there is only your way.
So, take it slow - one small step at a time. Why not, take some time to figure out what is working for you and what will make you safe as you take a step forward into this post-pandemic world.
Try a small step such as a visit to the supermarket. And check in with how you were feeling whilst you were there. Were you ok wearing your mask? Did anyone come rather close to you and it felt uncomfortable?
Remember, small steps are all that’s needed to build up your resilience to the fast pace of life again. And, you can always resort back to food deliveries if it gets too much.
How about working from home? You can take a small step and ask your boss for more flexibility and/or a trial run of more WFH days so you can work in your pj’s and play the music you want on Spotify - bonus.
Are you enjoying more time to yourself? You can always create blocks in your diary for ‘you time’ and make them non-negotiable.
2. less yes, more no
You may be feeling super overwhelmed right now and the one thing to alleviate your overwhelm is to take ‘stuff’ off your plate. Therefore, it’s time for fewer yes’s and more nos.
It’s okay to put yourself first and say no. One way to help you say no is to practice a few one-liners to reduce your anxiety when letting people down…
“Thank you for the invite, however, I’ll pass this time”
or
“I won’t be able to join you but I really do hope you have a great time”
Social butterflies are really happy to get back to normal and have their freedom back. They will be busy making plans and hoping to pencil you into those plans too. So, the most important thing is, to be honest, and upfront with them about your intentions for social events.
Before committing, consider whether these social events are something that you can and want to attend as it will save the disappointment on the day for the butterflies when you have to cancel.
There is no shame in not being ready by the way and you don’t have to people-please just so you don't sound like a party-pooper. But, check in with how you feel on a regular basis (a body scan is great for this) and differentiate the yes’s from the no’s to make your life easier and save you from feeling bad about saying no further along down the line.
3. Ask for help
Feeling nervous and anxious about the world-changing is very normal under the extraordinary circumstances of the pandemic. And it’s still okay to not be okay.
Reaching out to a therapist, counsellor or trauma specialist that can help you work through your anxiety and stress will be a game-changer for you.
You could be experiencing ‘survival mode’ and therapy is great for this. And before you say - what about coaching? I would first say jump on a call with your mental health practitioner first. Coaching will always be here when you’re back on your feet.
During the pandemic, our collective mental health took a nose-dive and there is no shame in reaching out and getting support. I’ve been seeing my therapist for the last decade and I don’t know what I would have done without my therapist all these years.
The modalities of therapy and counselling are just as life-changing as coaching. And I will always advocate for mental health - always.
Comment below on how you have been feeling after lockdown. Is it all too much too soon or are you finding your way slowly but surely?
Take the small steps - you’ve got this,
Michelle
KEEP READING: End Of Lockdown Series By Michelle Thole:
Part 1: For the bosses, managers and team leaders
Part 2: For the super excited and ready to party
Part 4: For the blah and languishing
